Written in October 2008
Waiting for the Ferry
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh life is good on Ko Samui.
I arrived here yesterday afternoon from Ko Tao on a slick high-speed catamaran ferry with AC, a movie, snacks and everything, then had a short ride to Bo Phut beach, one of the quieter and prettier beaches on the island. I hit the beach immediately and finished my 4th book of the trip, Memoires of a Geisha. All the hostels have book exchanges, so you just bring one on your trip and then trade it in when you are done. This bookworm has lucked out with some good ones so far: The Beach, The Time Traveler’s Wife, and About a Boy; unfortunately the only book in English OR French I could find to trade next at this place is The Awakening, which is the legend of a Vampiress and looks pretty stupid. Oh well, I will give it a go.
Hungry?
Last night after happy hour (a banana milkshake and a Bloody Mary) I enjoyed traditional Thai barbeque for dinner. Mr. Poo’s barbeque, to be exact. It was the crack; all-you-can-eat for 99 baht ($2.89). You have a burner on your table on top of live coals; the burner has little slits in it to let the heat out and then they put a big lump of lard on top to drip down as it melts and keep the fire going. All around the raised grill is a doughnut of almost-boiling water, and this is where you make your soup. You go up to get your choice of meats and veggies; I counted 27 different meats including bacon, chicken, calamari, liver, prawns, octopus, and a hell of a lot of mystery meat that I could not identify.
Bo Phut Beach
You pick up veggies etc. for your soup- garlic chives, parsley, chopped garlic, bean sprouts, glass noodles, whole eggs, plus tons more and then you sit down with your friends and go to town. While you wait for your meats to cook you can munch on all you want of Phud Thai, fried rice, spring rolls, French fries, dumplings, and several other dishes as well as fresh tropical fruits and green salad. I love when the meal is cooked right on the table; it is fun and at Mr. Poos’s, the food was fantastic.
After the grilled meats and soup came all-you-can-eat ice cream: Shilo heaven. It was silly
Life sucks, obviously
hot sitting next to the burners in the open-air restaurant; I had two servings of ice cream along with a large Chang. Chang is the PBR of Thailand; the word ‘Chang’ means elephant in the Thai language and all the Thais joke that the beer is really elephant piss. The Thai BBQ dinner was my favorite I have eaten thus far, along with the meals at the homestay up north.
Today I got up early to catch a sweet speedboat over to Ang Thong National Marine Park, about a thirty minute ride. The day has been overcast and a bit rainy, and the trip over was choppy and really fun- I adore boats of any kind and do not get seasick. There are heaps of islands dotted around the tropical sea, jutting violently up out of the ocean; under the cloudy sky the sea was a slate-blue carpet of rolling glass.
An Thong National Marine Park
It was the kind of day whose realness smacks you in the face, a day that lets you know without a doubt you are alive. The white-purple clouds above me had seams on them from where they had lifted off the ocean; here and there the rain drops would materialized and sting my cheeks (because I was in the front of the boat, of course). The wind was so strong if you opened your mouth it would blow the spit right out of it- a bit like being at the dentist with the water and air pick going at you. The trip was a blast, like a roller coaster, only real. In Thailand when they tell you to hold on, or jump, or watch your step, they are not freaking joking and they aren’t just saying it so they won’t get sued. They mean it. HOLD ON.
The boat’s first stop was on a neighboring island for a snorkel dip. I jumped in and promptly bashed my big toe on a tall coral rock; it was really cool to have a bleeding
The wet season arrives
appendage in shark-infested waters. Snorkeling here was different than Ko Tao and just as neat- tons of inky black sea urchins with hundreds of foot-long spikes, dumb-looking goober fish that looked like a box of fluorescent-colored crayons had been left out in the sun and melted together, smiley-eyed pufferfish, and near-transparent jellyfish everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I wasn’t just swimming with jellyfish, I was swimming in jellyfish soup! From pea size to fist size, they were all over and around me, though they didn’t bite much and the stings I received didn’t hurt too bad; aka no one had to pee on me.
The next stop was on a sandy strip of beach in the national park for a little sea kayaking. The rain that had been mostly holding off all day let loose in a torrential downpour, and as I paddled out towards the island we were to kayak around, I was thinking: really? However it all turned out well and fun; the rain in my eyes was a bit cold and annoying but the waves that washed over me were blankety-warm. Paddle paddle paddle.
As Sharp as Knives!
We hung tight in the rain near the island whose cliffed edges had been eaten away at the bottom by the water, giving us little caves to chill out and catch a breath in- but the rocks were as sharp as knives and would cut you fast if you forgot and used your hand instead of your oar to fend off. It was quite the ride getting around the island with the ferocious wind, waves, and rain, but once I was around the other side I saw the home beach, the wind turned in my favor, and I glided back to the shore with tired arms and a happy face. Lunch was (what else?) Phad Thai, rice, Tom Yum soup, sweet and sour chicken, fried chicken, pineapple, watermelon, and water. Ar Oy! (Delicious!).
The Green Lagoon
The next stop in the national marine park was a small hike to an overlook of a jade-green lagoon in the middle of awesome grey-black cliffs, filled with darting fish as well as a few gawking tourists. Most of the waters here are a translucent jade color, but the hue seemed more dense here in this captured lagoon, and the fish were speedy little devils that reminded me of pirahna. Beautiful.
I am now back on my beach and planning to visit Chaweng Beach tonight (the nightlife hotspot of the island) for a ladyboy show and to shop at the night market. And dinner, of course. But not before another swim on my beach in my ocean in my world. It is yours too, you know. You should come say hi and jump in. The water is fantastic.
Until tomorrow, and everybody in Seattle go to the Eprom show! *jealous*
Shilo
If it was easy to get here then it would not exist; this place would be filled with jerks and assholes. You have to make a real effort to get this far away from everybody, from everything you know. Time, effort, money. Will. Courage. You all have these things. You could be here right now; you could be here next year. What do you want in your life? I want paradise.
I have not felt this way since I was living in New Zealand, swimming in the South Pacific every day, baking in the sun for hours upon hours. I have stars in my eyes, mosquito bites on my legs, and freckles all over everywhere. I am in paradise.
I order Pina Coladas, Sex on the Beach, coconut milkshakes. I wear a pink bikini and sunglasses and that is it. I eat banana pancakes and red curries. The water is a brilliant aquamarine, warm under the hot tropical sun; home to swimmers in speedos, snorkeling boats headed out for the day, softly crashing waves, and fuzzy green islands jutting up towards the blinding white-hot sun. Neon pink flowers drip off trees and onto hammocks where sweaty children sleep; the sand is as soft as cheese. Fresh fish are grilled just steps away from the shoreline; beers go down quicker than you can say ‘Chang,’ and echoes of electronic music find their way up the cove and into my ears. A scruffy mamma dog nurses three puppies- one white, one black, one tan. Mats are set up on the beach for massages, and beach chairs for bathing. I am in paradise.
1. The show involved much more than just ping pong balls,
you can buy all kinds of randomness: colorful carved soap flowers in painted wooden boxes, genuine fake Rolex’s and Chanel bags (and any other name brand you can think of), birds in little straw cages (to set free), shiny gold bikinis, silver toe rings, slick leather satchels, multicolored silk robes, intricate carved teak wall hangings, long strands of beads, embroidered blankets, Fanta baseball caps, egg and banana crepes, and MC Hammer pants (of course).
Tuk-tuks are little three-wheeled vehicles with a seat in the back for transporting tourists, named after the sound their sputtering diesel engines make. You can fit six fit females in one. The drivers laze about in the back and as you walk by say, “Tuk-tuk? Tuk-tuk?” Even if you have just walked past a line of fifteen tuk-tuks saying no thanks, the next driver will still say it: “Tuk-tuk?” I will be hearing that in my sleep.
hundreds wounded and one dead- I saw it on the Australian news along with a bit of the most recent Obama-McCain debate (McCain is SUCH a douche). My hotel room is super posh with AC, TV, and minifridge. Anyway, the unrest will most likely be over by the time I return to Bangkok (tomorrow) and besides I am a smart cookie who would never get involved in something like that (in a foreign country, anyway). I will stay very far away from any of it, so nobody worry. My mama didn’t raise no fool. I have felt very safe in this country so far and it is like 100 times more dangerous driving on Interstate 5 in Seattle on any given day. So no worries, yall.
SUNDAY began with a bicycle ride around the ruins of Old Sukhothai, many of which are from the 13th century when Siam was rollin’. Now I am not Buddhist; though I do appreciate the philosophy, the one piece that always grabs my mind and stops me is the basic tenet that life is suffering. I am a very very lucky girl, that’s why, and have had little suffering in my life, comparitively speaking.
It is as HOT AS TEXAS here- no wait, it is hotter. And the hot season does even not start until November. Sweat drips off my ears, my nose, my chin, my elbows, my eyebrows; it pours off in gallons, marring postcards. I stand to buy a coke and walk away leaving a puddle of salty Shilo. It is the tropics, though the Thai people do not seem to sweat at all. Americans do, oh my God. The good news is that having your laundry done is as cheap as everything else. I had a delicious picnic lunch on the grounds of the ancient ruins (along with long-eared cows, kids swimming in ditches, a gaggle of puppies and fishing grandpas in speedos) then hopped a bus further north to Lampang.
In Lampang I stayed at a guesthouse right on the river, made completely of teak- so beautiful and chocka with bright purple bougainvillas, straw hammocks, and manky little dogs. Looked for some nightlife and was told down the road there was a club playing music. “What kind?” I asked. “Disco crap.” was the reply. I went to bed, sleeping beautifully on a very hard bed which seems to be standard here- my Dad would love it- like sleeping on a plank.
MONDAY, yesterday, was one of the best days of my life. Breakfast included banana jam and dragonfruit, which has a delicious neon-fuschia flesh, spotted with black seeds. Took a songtaew (the open-air truck) to the Elephant Conservation center where I got thisclose to the elephants, from 4 year-old babies to 50 year-old grandpas. Elephants once were used for logging in Thailand but after the practice was banned, many of the poor pachyderms were abandoned as useless or became beggars in Bangkok or even meth-heads. Now the Conservation Centre is trying to help them. I saw a big elephant bathing party; watched 
them show off their logging skills, xylophone skills, and painting skills- no shit. These amazing, ancient, gentle creatures paint flowers and trees. I bought bunches of tiny bananas (the only kind here) to feed them, and of course, took a ride through the jungle where I held on for dear freaking life- my elephant was spastic, kind of like me. I also checked out the world’s only elephant dung paper factory where elephant shit is turned into all manner of notebooks, albums, and gift wrap. I bought my brother a souvenir from the dung factory, and myself a sweet piece of elephant art done by a 14 year-old female who is “naughty and likes to eat.” My kind of girl!
Next door is the Elephant Hospital where sick or wounded animals from all over Thailand can get medical care for free. Many elephants have been severly injured by stepping on landmines on the Thailand/Myanmar border; it is SO sad. Fucking humans. It always hits hard when I am traveling how you can be so inspired and disgusted by human nature all at the same time- like seeing shit graffiti on ancient columns in Rome.
Elephants live here in the Conservation Centre with a leg blown off, thanks to this one amazing woman has dedicated her life to providing care for these smart creatures, including prosthetic limbs. The older elephants have a hard go of it, but a younger two year-old named Mosha walks around on her fake leg, painted grey with toenails and everything, like a three legged dog who has no clue something is wrong. I was so inspired by this silly animal, sassy and energetic, who would beg for rice cakes and get them. There were many other elephants there at the center; all with the same life span as humans- they fill your heart and break it all at once.
I made a quick stop by some mineral pools which were lukewarm; much better was the foot massage I got poolside. The masseurs rub sticks in- between your toes, up and down and twisted all around. It is so good you want to run away screaming!
served a feast including pork and tomato curry, zucchini and egg, pork rinds and KFC. During the meal the family played traditional instruments; Dad led the band including nine children. Then even more kids came out, and more- many Thais live in extended families which is SO better than the nuclear family and in fact the way that humans have lived for most of our existence. That way, if your mom and dad turn out to be total freaks, you have options.
The young girls came back out and started twirling swords! Hell yeah! All the crowd freaked out and scooted back, not me though- because I know when you pick up a sword to twirl it in the air, you know what the hell you are doing. ‘Cuz I twirl swords too, and freak people out on a regular basis.
fire codes in Thailand as they do in the US!
slices of watermelons. Being female and dirty dirty dirty I cannot touch a monk or even hand anything to him; I must place it in a bowl and take care not to touch the rim with my polluted self. It’s all that techno music that has made me so damn filthy, I just know it!
temples to a mushroom farm (picked some for lunch), a sewing shop (purses for $1-2), then to the best stop of the day: an elementary school, where I helped teach the little five-year old urchins how to speak English.
them the high-five, a winner with six year-olds worldwide in my experience. It was amazing. Staying with the family was the best experience of my trip so far; they opened their home and shared their food, their children, their bucket shower with me, all with the smiles that characterize the Thai people.
Chiang Mai where I write you now. (Funny, one blog post ago I couldn’t remember the name for songtaew; at this point I will never forget it!). I took a shower, shaved my legs and washed my hair and feel like a million baht! Then I had another massage though this one was a little pricey- $7 for an hour. Oh well, city prices.
