[Sprinkling on your shoes]

“Experiential travel” and “conspicuous leisure” are the new buzzwords in the tourism industry. Travelers don’t just want to go somewhere; they want to have unique experiences that truly connect them with the soul of a destination (and that can be shared on social media to make all their friends jealous). Rare and amazing experiences are a form of social currency used by those who believe that are actions create our identities.

Swimming with great white sharks, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, surfing on the moon – these types of experiences are highly valuable currency: bragworthy (aka well-suited for a Facebook profile pic). But travel isn’t just high-flying adventures and once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Check out the LEAST bragworthy travel experiences that I have witnessed or participated in during my tenure as a worldromper. How many have you checked off your shit-bucket list?

• Pet a mangy dog in Egypt
• Enjoy not one but two rounds of complimentary continental breakfasts
• Teach hotel owner’s son how to twerk
• Piss on your shoes in the squat toilet
• Order food from a waiter who is picking his nose
• Be ripped off by a cabbie
• Listen to music and don’t make any friends on the train
• Watch a TV show you cannot understand in your hotel room
• Accidentally touch cat shit
• Skip the hike for an afternoon nap
• Eat pepperoni pizza in Indonesia
• Puke on the side of the road in the desert
• Pay extra for the room with hot water
• Speak to no one for an entire day
• Wait four hours for a train that never arrives
• Sit in traffic on the freeway for most of the morning
• Melt your shoes on the campfire
• Wash laundry in the bidet
• Spill red wine on the flight – on the only pair of pants you brought
• Drink a bottle of water and leave the club at 10PM
• Read a book in your air-conditioned room by the beach
• Forget to bring toilet paper and be forced to use your sock
• Save $1.50 on bus fare and walk two hours in the pouring rain instead
• Get robbed by a monkey